


Hit Them Right Between the Eyes

by Kakushigo



Series: And Family Makes Four [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Also soulmate politics, Bestiality jokes, M/M, Mafia AU, Mob Husbands, Multi, Soulmate Shenanigans, Soulwords AU, gossip mag with ableist language, shifters au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9249632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kakushigo/pseuds/Kakushigo
Summary: Despite how unconventional it it, the four of them work- as long as Bucky doesn't think too hard about what his soulmate does and Steve remains unaware of the fact Rhodey loves the thrill of a hunt.  Not to mentionThe National Inquirerouted Bucky and Tony as soulmates.  So maybe they could use a little work, to figure out what their story is supposed to be.Oh, and Bucky still can't shift.





	1. Inquiring Enquirer Strikes Again

**Author's Note:**

> A couple people asked for a continuation and I kind of wanted to know where this universe was going too... So here we go~ Who knows where this will end up? Surely not me. Guest appearance by a Harry Potter character. XD  
> I have never read a gossip mag. I wasn't going to read one to get the 'feel' for it, so have a fake gossip mag article.  
> And if you want to come bother me about the story, you can! I operate out of [here!](http://kakushigo.tumblr.com.)  
> For the curious: [recipe for caviar mousse. ](http://www.food.com/recipe/caviar-mousse-302103)

_Soulmates or Soulfakes?_

_By Rita Seeker_

_The True Story Behind The Stark-Rhodes Marriage and **FAKE** Mating_

_Everyone remembers hte Stark-Rhodes marriage, one of the greatest scandals of the century when the celebrity couple bared their wrist for all the world to see for the cover of People's Magazine.  And an inside source reveals why they were so comfortable sharing their words with the world: they were fake!  And not just the fake that dark corners of the internet speculate about, but worse!  These two hid their real words and pretended to be mated to each other to be edgy.  Our source has revealed the true mate to Tony Stark: retired soldier James Barnes.  The two reportedly met when Tony hired this James to plan an anniversary party for his husband, how scandalous!_

_So with the help of some of the best photographers in the business, we found out the truth for our faithful readers.  With over 1,000 damning photos (all available if you have a premium pass on our website) you can take your pick.  And when they try to tell you that Bucky isn't Tony's mate, you'll know to believe what you see, not what you hear.  Of course, what does this mean for our favorite celebrity husband, James Rhodes nee Stark?  Who knows, but he seems pretty close with the mates.  He might be both their sidepieces.  And I mean, who can blame him?  That's two very hot pieces of ass, even if the one is cripple.  I'm sure getting over a missing arm is easy when there's so much money involved.  Or hell, maybe the Jameses lend each other a 'hand.'_

* * *

Bucky stops reading there.  He puts the magazine back on the rack and blinks at his single hand.  He and Tony have been very careful after the four of them decided that when it came to dealing with the public, pretending that Tony and Rhodey were real mates were easier.  It helped, somewhat, that most of Tony's and Rhodey's close friends knew the truth and didn't comment when Bucky curled up with Tony and Rhodey did the same with Steve.  But someone had told...hell, Bucky's face was plastered on millions of magazines right now.  Thankfully it was an old photo, his enlistment photo actually, but all the photos inside had him as he was now.  Which was long haired with a bit of stubble- not exactly at his most attractive.  Tony liked his hair though and they gave each other mutual beard burn that Steve and Rhodey would both complain about if they all ended up in the same bed that night.

Oh, god, _Steve_.  At least this Rita woman (man? Bucky honestly didn't know) hadn't brought him into it.  Slowly, Bucky backed out of the check-out line, mumbling that he'd forgotten something.  The man with five children climbing over him who'd been behind him in line had made a sympathetic sound before talking his youngest out of eating his sister's hand.  Bucky put everything back, it hadn't been much, and fled.  Back to Tony's house, of course.  The apartment Bucky and Steve had shared was now inhabited by someone else- they'd made the decision to default on the lease and live with Tony and Rhodey.  It helped that Tony had a lot of room, giving them their own space for when living in each other's pockets made them crazy.  Which hadn't happened nearly as much as Bucky had expected.  Though whenever Tony and Rhodey left for 'work' together, Steve tended to disappear into his studio.  It was his way to worry about whether their mates would return in one piece or in a body bag.  Bucky preferred to hang out in Tony's workshop with the bots.  Jarvis always brought him food, aided by the AI who ran the house and cars who had the same name.  

JARVIS let him in quickly.  "Lead me to Tony."  Bucky ordered, trying not to feel crazy.  Having a near omnipotent computer running the house had been an...adjustment.  Doors opened though and Bucky nearly ran through them, eager to talk to Tony and get the situation dealt with.  Tony was in the workshop, talking with U.  The clawbot had just gone through a major overhaul and was probably running diagnostics.  Bucky hated to interrupt that, but this was kind of important.  

Even so, he paused outside the door.  "JARVIS, please let Tony know I'm here."  Everyone had their rooms to retreat to and Bucky didn't want to violate the so far unspoken rule that there were rooms you didn't go into without permission.   Tony looked up from U and waved Bucky in.  

"What's up?"  Tony asked as soon as Bucky was on the right side of the soundproof and blast-proof glass.  "You kind of look like you've seen a ghost."

"Do you read the _Enquirer_?"  Bucky replied.  Tony didn't look worried, so Bucky assumed he hadn't seen it.  Bucky wished he hadn't seen it.  Tony shakes his head, confirming what Bucky had suspected. "You might want to look up their feature story for today."  He tries to keep the agitation out of his voice, but he doesn't know how well he did.

Worried now, Tony stops petting U.  "JARVIS, pull out the _Enquierer_."  The cover pops up, in full holographic glory.  If it wasn't the cover of a gossip mag, Bucky might even call it classy.  Tony is feeding him spoonfuls of caviar mousse.  It'd been disgusting, but Tony had insisted he try.  U makes a distressed sound, it's perfectly timed with the appearance of the holographic cover, but due to U's lack of eyes, Bucky is going to assume it was because Tony stopped touching her.

"I didn't authorize this."  Tony murmured under his breath.  "I need-"  Predicting Tony's request, JARVIS had already compiled and projected the rest of the magazine for Tony's perusal.  As more photos appeared (some Bucky didn't even recognize), Tony steadily grew more alarmed.  "How many are real, J?  And can I sue for libel?  No one can prove anything, there's no was to keep track of whose words I have."  Though testing would prove one a tattoo.  Tony would like to avoid that if he could.

"As they state in the text, they have an excess of 1,000 photos in their digital archive."  JARVIS reports.  "Seventeen of which include Mr. Rogers.  Ninety-four include Sir Rhodes."

Those numbers just make Tony's frown deeper.  "No Photoshop?"

"Photoshop appears in over half.  The few that don't have Photoshop were all taken by the same camera and credited to the same account."

"Whose?"  Tony demanded.  "And should I hire or kill them?"  Bucky gave Tony a wide-eyed look to which he replied with a shrug. "I'm kidding."  Bucky was pretty sure he hadn't been, but he let it pass.

"Credited to Miles and Peter Morales."  JARVIS answered after a second.  "Freelancers.  Formerly worked with-"

"JJ,"  Tony finished with disgust.   "Guess they found new work then.  Good on them.  Do I still have controlling interest in _The Bungle_?"  Bucky hasn't heard much about the newspaper since the former editor was found dead in his office.  

"Yes, sir."  JARVIS confirms.

For a second. Tony is still and silent.  When he starts talking, Bucky isn't quite paying attention.  "Do you think Steve would be interested in running a magazine?"

It takes Bucky a minute to recognize that he's being talking to.  "What?"

"Steve, magazine.  Compatible?"  Tony repeats.

His mind tries to wrap around the idea of Steve running a newspaper, but Bucky can't even imagine it.  "Just the funnies, maybe.  He's good with words, but I'm not sure he'd enjoy it.  You could always ask him."

Tony sighs.  "J?"

"He's currently busy."  And Bucky didn't know AI's could use inflection so well.  It's kind of obvious that JARVIS is implying it's the kind of busy you don't interrupt.

Thankfully, Tony seems to pick up on it.  "Ask him when he and Rhodey are done."

"Of course, sir.  Jarvis Senior would like me to remind you to have lunch."

Immediately, Tony turned towards Bucky and he braced for whatever Tony was about to say.  "Lunch date?"  Tony suggests.

"Won't that..." Bucky doesn't know quite how to say what he's implying, so he just gestured to the 3D rendered magazine.

Tony snorts, dismissing the hologram with a wave.  "People scarcely do little but talk.  If it makes you feel better, we can invite Rhodey and Steve along."

"We could eat in,"  Bucky suggests, not really feeling up to crowds that inevitably flock towards Tony.

For a second, Tony's face contorts and Bucky can't read him.  "I can't cook."  Tony finally admits, drawing a laugh out of Bucky. U gives him a love tap, as though taking offense to the idea that Bucky might conceivably laugh at Tony.

"I can't promise a five star dining experience,"  Bucky admits, once he's stopped laughing, "but I can cook."

Swiftly, Tony brightens. "Really?"

"Really."  Bucky confirms, smiling.

"Then come on, cook for me."  Tony can't quite reach Bucky's only arm, so instead he grabs the edge of Bucky's shirt and tugs at it.  Bucky steps closer at Tony's insistence and Tony pulls him from the workshop this way.  


	2. Singing in the Dead of Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey and Steve take a pleasant interlude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a great idea for a drawing for this chapter, but I never got it right so...I'm finally posting this, without the picture.

Of all canvases Steve had ever worked with, his favorite was Rhodey.  It was one of his first experiences with a human canvas and he loved ever part about it.  Tony was careful to buy him paints safe for skin application and safe for dogs.  It wasn't often that one of them would shift, but Tony had thought of ever eventuality.  

Today, Rhodey had woken up to the familiar feeling of a brush against his skin.  For a second, he just feels, relishing is the cool glide of paint.  The shape of the strokes soon gives the suggestion of wings.   "Giving me wings again?"  He asks, sleeping clinging to his brain and voice ever so lightly.

"Yes,"  Steve admits, "shame you weren't born a bird." As much as Steve thinks a bird would fit Rhodey, he's glad that Rhodey is a wolf instead.  It's not what he would have picked, but...it's perfect.  More often then not, Steve goes to sleep beside the human and wakes up next to the wolf.  Both Rhodey's wolf and human forms are large enough to curl around him when he's sleeping, the same couldn't be said of a bird.  And the beak would probably get annoying.

"Why bother?"  Rhodey replied, carefully letting the gathering tension bleed from his shoulders, "I have you to give me wings instead."

"Sap."  Steve returned fondly, kissing between Rhodey's shoulder blades, between the two painted wings.  

Rhodey hummed in contentment.  "Your sap.  Besides, why bother giving me wings when I've got planes?  They're just as fun."  The pressure along Rhodey's back changed as Steve moved, Rhodey didn't bother to track him closely.  If it was just about anyone else, he would've but Steve had proven his loyalty.  

"Sirs," JARVIS interrupted, as polite as the AI ever was, "Tony would like to know if you two are available?"

Right now, Rhodey didn't really feel like moving.  "Did he mention what about?  Or how important it was?"

"It's about the media."  JARVIS informed them.  "Relatively important, but it can keep if you're busy."

"We're busy, then."  Rhodey replied, not even bothering to open his eyes.  Moving now might ruin Steve's art and Steve hasn't taken a picture of it yet.  The only reason he would move would be a perimeter breach or something for the Carbonell Crew that couldn't wait.  The media might be tenacious, but in this house they were safe.  

"Of course.  When you're available, please let him know."  

"Will do."  There wasn't a click or anything so obvious to indicate the AI was no longer actively participating in the room, but Rhodey could tell it'd moved on to more important things.  JARVIS hardly needed to monitor the inside of the bedrooms 24/7.

"I'll never get used to that."  Steve admitted quietly, lifting Rhodey's arm to get the paint right.

Rhodey lets him move his body as he pleased.  "What, the AI?"

"Robot butler."  Steve corrected.  It might technically be an AI, but the thing certainly acted like one of those British butlers one saw in movies.  "One would think a normal butler would be quite enough."

Just being reminded of the older man made Rhodey grin.  Jarvis had know he and Tony weren't actually mates, but he hadn't cared as long as Tony was happy.  The old man had become somewhat of a surrogate for both of them and was quite dear to both.  "Jarvis is getting old and Tony would rather see him retire then continue working, but the man is quite stubborn.  So the other JARVIS exists to help alleviate the load and to somehow convince the original Jarvis that Tony isn't being abandoned to the wolves."

Either someone had a sense of humor or Jarvis had made a comment to the like.  It didn't seem like a Jarvis thing to do, for all Steve's limited interaction with the man.  "Is it working?"  He asked, carefully blending the gold and red across Rhodey's elbow.  "Because I'm pretty sure Jarvis has cooked every meal I've had here, except the ones you've cooked for me yourself."  His mate was quite the excellent cook, Steve had found, and he looked forward to the quiet nights when Rhodey would feel up to it.  Usually it was after a day with Tony, when they both came back with wild looks in their eyes.  Steve preferred to forget the days and focus on the nights.

"As far as I can tell- yes.  It's the little things Jarvis doesn't have to worry about anymore, like keeping Tony's schedule.  Sometimes they get a little irritated at each other and it's amusing to watch."  They had both tried to insist that the other refer to them informally, but it never stuck.  Jarvis called JARVIS sir and JARVIS called Jarvis Jarvis Senior to the long amusement of Tony and Rhodey.

Steve hummed, showing he'd heard Rhodey but had nothing else to say.  The two of them lapsed into a comfortable silence and Rhodey drifted, only focused on the occasional touch of the brush to his back.  It would've been a simple task to turn his head to the side and watch the steady blue glow of the time against the wall, but Rhodey didn't bother.  Time always seemed to move slower when one was paying attention to it, and the pace of time right now was one Rhodey was familiar with it.  

Eventually, Steve's comfortable weight disappeared from his back completely.  Rhodey made an inquiring noise in the back of his throat, which prompted an amused chuckle from Steve.  "I'm done, Rhodey.  Give me a second to take a picture."  Since Steve was done, he opened his eyes and turned his head to the left where the clock projected the time.  12:43.  He'd spent half of the day lazing in bed with Steve and it should make him feel restless and wasteful, but it didn't.  Instead Rhodey was comfortable with his drying wings and small artist of a soulmate.  

There was the telltale click from the camera, proving Steve had taken the picture.  Rhodey laid for a while longer and Steve took a few more pictures.  The best of which, Rhodey had no doubt, would end up Steve's background photo.  And perhaps even on the website Steve occasionally updated with his recent works.  Rhodey's back art had yet to appear, but Rhodey was sure it would eventually.  Steve was just a bit shy when it came to Rhodey, which was adorable and a reason why Rhodey trusted him.  Undoubtedly, Steve would ask Rhodey's permission before posting any of the art he'd done on Rhodey and Rhodey would deny him nothing.  People would talk, but a story could be spun.  Perhaps they'd be the first set of four way soulmates.  There were documented cases of three way bonds, they might be the only four way, but it'd attract less attention then being honest about their current set-up.  

"Show me."  Rhodey requested, sitting up on the bed.  He folded his legs underneath himself and leaned in to Steve.  Obligingly, Steve showed him the pictures.  Rhodey's wings were beautiful.  "Looks like they're made of fire."  If fire was softer perhaps, and a bit more inclined to be shaped.  

"I was thinking of the fire opal on Tony's cover-up."  Steve admitted, which caused Rhodey to smile.   "Ready for lunch?"  He nodded towards the clock and Rhodey hummed in agreement.  Steve put the camera aside and both climbed out of bed.  Rhodey didn't bother with a shirt, but he did throw on some sweatpants.  Steve was wearing an overly large shirt, it'd formerly been Rhodey's or Bucky's but had been claimed by the smaller artist for a paint shirt.  


End file.
